The Danger of Safety

“…Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Mt. 16:25)

Among the many activities I enjoyed in my childhood (among them cub scouts, swimming lessons, children's concerts and vacation Bible school) there was one activity I endured with fear and trembling: Little League. Despite my awkward left-handedness and a lack of athletic talent or motivation, my parents felt it necessary to enroll me for three failed seasons; one year in pee wee and two in "the majors." From my perspective, Little League’s one saving grace was that at each game, for the bargain price of a nickel, I could purchase a pack of 5 Batman bubblegum cards from the candy lady.

I call these seasons failed because my tenure in right field consisted of one primary motivation; not to get hit by the ball. I remember vividly my brother, who was two years my senior, getting hit in the face by a baseball, at which point his entire nose disappeared for two solid weeks. I had no intention of becoming a similar facial casualty.

A moment ago I noted, a lack of athletic ability. The fact is, not to get hit by a ball which is coming straight for you, while simultaneously appearing to care about fielding the ball, actually did require a fair amount of athletic finesse. The key was waiting until the ball was just about on me, then leaping out of the way at the very last moment, reaching toward the ball with my glove hand, while at the same time protecting my face with the other.

Having inevitably missed the ball (and with the ball missing me), I would quickly turn around and chase it to the back fence. Then I’d throw it as far as I could in some direction. Typically this was straight up, with the ball ultimately landing about 10 feet in front of me.

All in all, my strategy of safety, combined with all the yelling from my team and the crowd (and the coaches), made for a rather stressful, albeit impressive maneuver. Though my coaches were less than impressed, my face remained safely in tact. I comforted myself with the fact that, though my baseball career was wanting, I did excel in team candy sales and was the proud owner of a complete set of Batman cards.

As with most life lessons, this one is simple enough for a child to understand, (though often difficult to recognize in ourselves, and even more difficult to apply). The fact is, my fear of getting hit by the ball, and my subsequent efforts to avoid this at all costs, meant I wouldn't really learn what it meant to play the game. Not surprisingly, the effort I expended in my strategy could just as easily been channeled to overcome my challenges.

The same is true in life. So often in our desire to avoid being hurt, we develop a sophisticated series of responses designed to ensure our safety. The goal is to minimize and even eliminate any and all risk to our heart. Sadly, while successfully protecting us, the cumulative effect of these reflexes may also ensure that we never truly learn to live. All the while we are expending tremendous energy. Energy that could better be applied to courageous action.

In his book Turn My Mourning Into Dancing, author Herni Nouwen writes, “The great paradox is that it is in letting go, we receive. We find safety in unexpected places of risk. And those who try to avoid all risk, those who would try to guarantee that their hearts will not be broken, end up in a self-created hell.”

In The Four Loves C. S. Lewis observes:

“To love is to be vulnerable…If you want to make sure of keeping your heart in tact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken-it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable…The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the danger of love is Hell.”

Jesus put it this way, “…whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Mt. 16:25)